feeling like crap. 10.22.

5:41 pm Uncategorized

Lately i’ve been stressed out to the max. Whats new? I don’t know, I just feel so overwhelmed right now. Like I have so many things to do, I don’t even know where to start. School work sucks because my mind is never focused on it. My physical and emotional health is suffering from lack of sleep and no energy. Cross country is stressing me out because i’m injured right now, but I’m hurting myself even more to run because we have 3 weeks left. College stuff is worrying me. I have to decide where I want to go for the next 4 years of my life. I’m not 100% sure what I want to major in. I don’t know if I can afford it, so I dont know how I will pay for college. I don’t know if I want to run in college. I’m trying to get involved in school because I haven’t been involved in many school extra currics. I’m trying to get all A’s to keep my top 10% rank. I’m trying to volunteer whenever I have time. I’m trying not to kill myself with stress. I’m trying to put up with immature and ignorant people I encounter everyday. I’m trying to avoid fights with my parents. I’m trying to do EVERYTHING because there is SO much to do!

I’ve been noticing its been getting worse lately. I’ve seriously been neglecting my homework. I got a 13/40 on my physics (which is like a 30%) because I didn’t do it. I slept seriously the whole night. From 7-7 in the morning. I tried to do as much as I could in school, but I didn’t finish it, so now I have an F in physics. I’m not going to lie though, it’s not the fact that I am so busy doing things. I made a personal choice not to do it, because I needed sleep. I’m not saying that I never have time to do anything. I think I have plenty of time to do my homework in the evenings. However, I just can’t get myself to do it. I spend 9 hours in school. Sitting there listening to my teachers lecture, do assignments, tests, etc. As if I haven’t already wasted all my life in school, I do not want to go home and work on some more school work! Seriously, my brain needs time to relax and I can’t constantly be doing school work every waking moment of my day. I need a break. I look at my home as a place to unwind and relax. After a long day of school and practice the last thing I want to do is repeat everything again at my house. I watch tv, lounge around, eat, take a shower, and just chill when I get home. I don’t go straight to working on my homework because I can’t physically get myself to do it. *sigh* what am I going to do….

Jenn

2nd team…again 10.17.

6:23 pm Uncategorized

so today was our conference meet and I dont really know what to say about it. I’m mad but i’m not? I got 16th so I got second team conference..again. Like I always do. The cut off for second team was 18, so I was glad that I at least GOT second team all conference. I almost missed it. Anywho, I ran 16:28, which is not my best. I hate the course though because its so flat and open. Well our FRESHMAN got 6th and ran like 16:02. He did amazing, and I was jealous. I’m not going to lie but I was pretty mad about that. As selfish as that may sound, but I have always been like the runner who never got any of the attention and was always outshined by others. This year was my chance to actually stand out and be our best runner. I mean the whole school knows me as “the runner” and that I am good. But now that a FRESHMAN got first team all conference and I got second team, that makes me lose my rep. It sucks. We have a winter sports assembly in like a month or two and they announce all the conference winners and such in front of the whole school. So I’m going to feel extremely stupid that I got second team all conference and a freshman got first team. Grr he’s really good though. I mean REALLY good for a freshman, so he should be amazing his senior year. It just stinks that I can’t ever be the one in the spotlight. I tried my hardest and as best I could, so I know there was nothing that I could change. Regionals are next week. I WILL be pissed if he makes it out onto sectionals and I don’t..so yeah hopefully I will place good enough to advance. Wish me luck!

Sandra Yvette

people need to grow up 10.11.

1:13 pm Uncategorized

so today we had a cross country meet and I did really good! I was so proud of myself woo I ran 16:15ish and got 23rd place out of a million. That was my best time everrrr in my wholeeee life! haha so I was super excited. I’m scared for next week though, because its our conference! and I want to make first team soo bad but thats the top 9 people. I dont know if I am that fast maybe if I could drop down to a 16:00 I would have a chance! but anywho that is the good news for the day.

As you can see by my title I am bothered by some other problems. I am starting to dislike people in general and I dont know why? I feel like I am hanging around toxic people too much and it is getting to me.

Who are the severely toxic people?
They are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around so things you felt they had done wrong are suddenly your fault. They overreact to bad events.
They drain your energy. It may be that they get you to spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up. They may bombard you with their negativity so that you have to spend energy trying to fend it off. Perhaps their constant pessimism infects you, or they always make you angry. They may be leeches who feed themselves by making you give them your positivity.

My friends aren’t my friends they irritate me more than anything. For example, we have a new psychology teacher and I think shes awesome. She’s is the happiest person you will ever meet, and is always smiling. My whole class HATES her for being so happy and energetic everyday, and they always crack jokes about her. I really don’t understand how someone being happy makes you hate them? It makes me happy and smile when I see her because she makes me laugh and puts off a good vibe, but my whole class hates her and I am the only one that likes her. People are just immature. Honestly we are adults now, so try acting like one? This kid on my team has like the most negative attitude and is just rude. He puts me in a bad mood cuz he always comments on everything I do. and is like “ugh dude thats stupid”, “your mom”, “this sucks” and curses every other word. I don’t even talk to my friends anymore because they just irritate me and don’t care about anything. For example, one of my friends totally ignores me when she is around other people. I don’t think she talked to me at all today in the whole 6 hours the team spent together. When we get back some of her other friends were outside and shes all like “hey we are going to a haunted house tonight, you should come!” and I was just thinking umm thanks for asking me once again? OH and another thing, she told me that I was taking her home and that we had to stop by her friends house to get stuff, so I was waiting for her to get done talking so we could leave. and then she was like “um your not taking me home, kyle is” and I was like what the fuck? are you serious right now? You JUST told me I was taking you home, and I was waiting for like 10 minutes when I could have left and she says shes riding with her ex. Shes stupid. Seriously, I hate her sometimes. and shes always wants to be the center of attention and she wants everyone to recognize her. When I do homework and help her, she gets a good grade and doesnt even say thanks. When I ask her to help ME, she says no and to do it myself. When I give her advice about things she would never know about, she just takes it and uses it to her advantage. When I ask her for advice about something shes done, she beats around the bushes and never tells me anything because she wants to be on top. I hate that. I’m never going to help her with anything again. She takes advantage of me sometimes, and what kind of friend does that? A selfish one.

I’m ready for college. I am hoping that there are people who act like adults. High school is stupid and filled with fakes. People pretending to be something that they aren’t. Cliques and favoring people. Sucking up to climb the social ladder. being used and ditched. sounds fun huh? The reality is, when you go off to college, you won’t see those “friends” again so why bother? Why bother to try so hard to please them, when they don’t care about you at all. I just want to meet someone in my life that is genuinely a good friend.

Yvette