Tomorrow I get out of school 4th hour to go to a lunch thingy! I got selected by some optimist club/organization to attend. My counsler said it was a pretty big honor since they only pick 2 people from each school. I was excited because I never get any awards or anything. She called me in today and asked what she should say about me and asked what things I were involved in. I felt stupid because I’m not involved in that much stuff. Like I don’t do community service everyday of my life and what not. Which is why i found it surprising I was chosen. so that should be coool. But we don’t even miss that much of school, we come back for our last hour. boo. But that is good because I have physics and don’t want to miss anything!

I need to go read for american novel, so I will write soon!

Well they started the demolishion on the house today. I wish I coulda been there but I saw pics in our newspaper! lol the family was sent to disney land =p It probably won’t be on TV until like next year or so. Its going to be fun to watch it and know that it was in our town! haha

heres an article if anyone wants to read up on the family! http://designbuilthomesextreme.com/family.htm

I’ve been noticing its been getting worse lately. I’ve seriously been neglecting my homework. I got a 13/40 on my physics (which is like a 30%) because I didn’t do it. I slept seriously the whole night. From 7-7 in the morning. I tried to do as much as I could in school, but I didn’t finish it, so now I have an F in physics. I’m not going to lie though, it’s not the fact that I am so busy doing things. I made a personal choice not to do it, because I needed sleep. I’m not saying that I never have time to do anything. I think I have plenty of time to do my homework in the evenings. However, I just can’t get myself to do it. I spend 9 hours in school. Sitting there listening to my teachers lecture, do assignments, tests, etc. As if I haven’t already wasted all my life in school, I do not want to go home and work on some more school work! Seriously, my brain needs time to relax and I can’t constantly be doing school work every waking moment of my day. I need a break. I look at my home as a place to unwind and relax. After a long day of school and practice the last thing I want to do is repeat everything again at my house. I watch tv, lounge around, eat, take a shower, and just chill when I get home. I don’t go straight to working on my homework because I can’t physically get myself to do it. *sigh* what am I going to do….

As you can see by my title I am bothered by some other problems. I am starting to dislike people in general and I dont know why? I feel like I am hanging around toxic people too much and it is getting to me.

Who are the severely toxic people?
They are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around so things you felt they had done wrong are suddenly your fault. They overreact to bad events.
They drain your energy. It may be that they get you to spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up. They may bombard you with their negativity so that you have to spend energy trying to fend it off. Perhaps their constant pessimism infects you, or they always make you angry. They may be leeches who feed themselves by making you give them your positivity.

My friends aren’t my friends they irritate me more than anything. For example, we have a new psychology teacher and I think shes awesome. She’s is the happiest person you will ever meet, and is always smiling. My whole class HATES her for being so happy and energetic everyday, and they always crack jokes about her. I really don’t understand how someone being happy makes you hate them? It makes me happy and smile when I see her because she makes me laugh and puts off a good vibe, but my whole class hates her and I am the only one that likes her. People are just immature. Honestly we are adults now, so try acting like one? This kid on my team has like the most negative attitude and is just rude. He puts me in a bad mood cuz he always comments on everything I do. and is like “ugh dude thats stupid”, “your mom”, “this sucks” and curses every other word. I don’t even talk to my friends anymore because they just irritate me and don’t care about anything. For example, one of my friends totally ignores me when she is around other people. I don’t think she talked to me at all today in the whole 6 hours the team spent together. When we get back some of her other friends were outside and shes all like “hey we are going to a haunted house tonight, you should come!” and I was just thinking umm thanks for asking me once again? OH and another thing, she told me that I was taking her home and that we had to stop by her friends house to get stuff, so I was waiting for her to get done talking so we could leave. and then she was like “um your not taking me home, kyle is” and I was like what the fuck? are you serious right now? You JUST told me I was taking you home, and I was waiting for like 10 minutes when I could have left and she says shes riding with her ex. Shes stupid. Seriously, I hate her sometimes. and shes always wants to be the center of attention and she wants everyone to recognize her. When I do homework and help her, she gets a good grade and doesnt even say thanks. When I ask her to help ME, she says no and to do it myself. When I give her advice about things she would never know about, she just takes it and uses it to her advantage. When I ask her for advice about something shes done, she beats around the bushes and never tells me anything because she wants to be on top. I hate that. I’m never going to help her with anything again. She takes advantage of me sometimes, and what kind of friend does that? A selfish one.

I’m ready for college. I am hoping that there are people who act like adults. High school is stupid and filled with fakes. People pretending to be something that they aren’t. Cliques and favoring people. Sucking up to climb the social ladder. being used and ditched. sounds fun huh? The reality is, when you go off to college, you won’t see those “friends” again so why bother? Why bother to try so hard to please them, when they don’t care about you at all. I just want to meet someone in my life that is genuinely a good friend.

So everyone has been getting acceptance letters to their colleges already and I feel left out cuz I haven’t applied anywhere yet! Why? Because 1) I’m probably going to a local community college and transfering 2) not many colleges have a major in radiology. so Its not really my fault. I really do just want to apply somewhere randomly and see if I get accepted because that would make me feel better! haha

I’m having second thoughts about that btw. Not sure if I really want to do it after my observation. Not that I dont want to, but I don’t think I would physically be able to. Like lift the patients off their beds and transfer them to their table and all that stuff. So that makes everything more confusing. I’m not sure if I want to do it 100%. Although I did tell people I was 99% sure I wanted to do it before my observation, and before I didn’t really know what they did. hmm

Tomorrow we have a meet in Jacksonville, IL. Its a flighted meet and I’m the second runner. That means I will run against all the other teams second runners. Hopefully I will do good! Last year, we got a perfect score but since we lost all our good seniors last year, that probably won’t happen. My shin has been hurting lately which is not good. I get shin splints every year so its pretty much unavoidable. I dont know what Im going to do cuz I can’t take time off. All our bigs meets are coming and conference. AhhH that worries me. I need to get better.

I have to tape my spanish dialogue on sunday! ahh its going to be horrible. My partner is  EXTREMELY quiet. She never ever ever talks to anyone. I think i’ve heard her speak like 10 words in her whole life. So our dialogue is SUPPOSED to be funny, but I think she will kill it. Shes very monotone when she talks and doesn’t show emotion so i’m not sure how that will work out. Plus I have no clue who is going to tape us since we both need to be in it. That could be a problem. This weekend will go buy fast, I know it already. Tomorrow i’m going to be gone all day. Literally. I wont be home till about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Then I have saturday night which I will most likely sleep since I will be pooped. Sunday is our dialogue which I will be working on all day. Then I have to do my tonsss of homework. boo