feeling like crap. 10.22.

Lately i’ve been stressed out to the max. Whats new? I don’t know, I just feel so overwhelmed right now. Like I have so many things to do, I don’t even know where to start. School work sucks because my mind is never focused on it. My physical and emotional health is suffering from lack of sleep and no energy. Cross country is stressing me out because i’m injured right now, but I’m hurting myself even more to run because we have 3 weeks left. College stuff is worrying me. I have to decide where I want to go for the next 4 years of my life. I’m not 100% sure what I want to major in. I don’t know if I can afford it, so I dont know how I will pay for college. I don’t know if I want to run in college. I’m trying to get involved in school because I haven’t been involved in many school extra currics. I’m trying to get all A’s to keep my top 10% rank. I’m trying to volunteer whenever I have time. I’m trying not to kill myself with stress. I’m trying to put up with immature and ignorant people I encounter everyday. I’m trying to avoid fights with my parents. I’m trying to do EVERYTHING because there is SO much to do!

I’ve been noticing its been getting worse lately. I’ve seriously been neglecting my homework. I got a 13/40 on my physics (which is like a 30%) because I didn’t do it. I slept seriously the whole night. From 7-7 in the morning. I tried to do as much as I could in school, but I didn’t finish it, so now I have an F in physics. I’m not going to lie though, it’s not the fact that I am so busy doing things. I made a personal choice not to do it, because I needed sleep. I’m not saying that I never have time to do anything. I think I have plenty of time to do my homework in the evenings. However, I just can’t get myself to do it. I spend 9 hours in school. Sitting there listening to my teachers lecture, do assignments, tests, etc. As if I haven’t already wasted all my life in school, I do not want to go home and work on some more school work! Seriously, my brain needs time to relax and I can’t constantly be doing school work every waking moment of my day. I need a break. I look at my home as a place to unwind and relax. After a long day of school and practice the last thing I want to do is repeat everything again at my house. I watch tv, lounge around, eat, take a shower, and just chill when I get home. I don’t go straight to working on my homework because I can’t physically get myself to do it. *sigh* what am I going to do….

Jenn

1. Lmao. I just briefly went through your biography page and am surprised at how much we have in common. I’m Viet too but completely whitewashed– my vocabulary is so limited that I can’t watch a Viet movie ’cause I don’t understand about 99% of it. xD Very rarely do people guess I’m Viet on their first try, either.

   You’re trying to handle too many things at once and as you can clearly see, it’s going to be your downfall. You need to set your priorities straight before diving nose first into everything. I know that running is important to you but you should also keep in mind that it’s also an extra-curricular activity. Don’t stress your body and mind at the same time. Take it easy and relax for a little bit and don’t push yourself so hard, or else you might further injure yourself. Getting involved in school… well, I can’t say much. So far I haven’t exactly participated in anything at my school, either.

   College is nothing but stress, but like I said, calm yourself. Don’t panic. Take the time and think over what you really want to do in life. Pick the choice that you think will ultimately make /you/ happy in the long run.

   I’m one of those people who are easily annoyed. Very easily. Whenever they try to say or do something, just put on your headphones. It’ll block out the noise and put your mind at ease, as well as help you concentrate.

   I doubt my advice will help you much, but you desperately need to find the time to do… nothing. Whether it be for a day or week. It’s not really helping you if you eventually feel like you can’t stay awake in class.

   Take care of yourself. Plan an hour of relaxation every day. Good luck.

Posted by Jenn on October 22nd, 2008 at 9:20 pm